i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
