Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
