K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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