Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
