bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
