I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
