Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
