In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
