I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
