Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
please come you make the beer taste better
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
