Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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