who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
