Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
