her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
