We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
