she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
