Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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