Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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