i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
