I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
