If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
