Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
