so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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