ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
