The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
