im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
