I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
