...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
