Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
