Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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