i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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