yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
