Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
