Joe is yelling at the trees again.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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