Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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