Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
