You really coming over, don't trick.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
