you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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