They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
