I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
