i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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