Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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