He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
