You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
