Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
