nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's blow job season.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
