i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
