i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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