people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
