Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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