i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
