drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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